Why am I so cranky?

I'm having one of those calm moments when the brain slows down to a speed where it can go "what the fuck just happened?"   The last thing I remember was following a Facebook post from Huffington Post after the Murdoch thing started breaking and I have no memory of the time in-between.  Four weeks ago I didn't know who Rebekah Brooks was.  I'd hardly heard of Michele Bachmann and her cuddly hubby, Marcus.

Grover Norquist - What's not to love?

The weirdest thing that has happened in the last three weeks from what I can tell from emails and Facebook is that I've fallen insanely in love with a guy called Grover Norquist.  According to Hotmail email records,  I've sent over 300 emails to Grover's  organisation.  I read a few.  Here's a couple of samples. "I never saw it coming. I never knew I could feel this way and for it to happen so fast. The emotion was almost instant and overwhelming. I feel so ashamed. I feel so dirty."  You forget to eat or sleep for three days and this kind of shit starts to happen!  But this blog isn't about the angel on earth that is Grover Norquist. This blog is about why I've responded to him as I have.  To ask the question that I've asked myself so many times in the past. Why am I so cranky?

I've got to write this down while I've still got it...
1st week, Two stage 1's.  2nd week, 1 stage and one stage 2.  Week 3, 2 two stage 2's.  Week 4, one stage 2 and one stage 3.  Week 5, two stage 3's.  Week 6, one stage three.

Anyway. `Why am I so cranky?'  I was just asking myself.

For some reason I was thinking about not having seen `The Hurt Locker'.  I went off onto another tangent thinking about where the Hurt Locker is set and it occurred to me; that America conducts it's wars in suburbia.  It didn't in Vietnam. It took the fight to the people.  What occurred to me is that America always involves the local population in the games it loves to play.  I think what's happening in Kandahar and Baghdad is like the London blitz one house at a time.  How long did the blitz go for?  The Yanks have been there for 8 years. I wonder if they've gotten to everyone?  If they've kicked in the doors and pointed guns at everyone in Baghdad and now they're starting again.  Working the same way telemarketers do - going through the phone book.

The thing with Iraq is that I read somewhere (and that's a shockin' thing to write) but I can't remember the source.  Anyway, what I read was that most of the population of Iraq were under 19, or women and the elderly.  So America in 2002 invaded a nation of women and children and old people. Good one! A few months back I was checking out Laos on Wikipedia.  I read somewhere that 46 million bombs were dropped on Laos but I was wrong it was 260 million.  Some of them cluster bombs and 80 million didn't go off.  Now that's what I call taking the fight to the people.  The other article I read about Laos sort of implied they just dropped them on Laos because `You know, er, um, shiyit you gotta drop those bombs somewhere.'   It's like Laos was one cog on a wheel.  The other cogs?  Shareholders, the people who make the bombs, the people who buy the bombs, the people who drop the bombs, and the people who have the bombs dropped on them.  I don't think they can just make them and sell em and put them in a warehouse they have to drop them. The boom factor is an essential cog in the wheel as it ensures the strength of the shareholder cog in the wheel and vice versa. And who doesn't like a good explosion. WTF has this all to do with the last 3 weeks?

It all started with the Murdoch thing. A seemingly innocent post on Facebook.  Down a rabbit hole of obsession, lust, facial hair, and ultimately true love.  A greater understanding of the universe and the knowledge that there is a god and he's name is Grover.  (Shit I think I keep slipping back into psychosis.) More food - more medicine!  Huffington Post is the 9 levels of Internet hell that Dante warned us about.
I just had another coherent moment!  The only time I spend away from Huff Post is the 25 minutes I spend watching the Clone Wars.  The breakage becomes clearer.  As I was saying Huff Post is hell. You go in but you can't come out. What started as a fun and exciting soap opera quickly turned American and then went all horrible to what was it a week ago. That fuckwit in Norway!  Boys with their fucken' guns       again.  I think I bowed my head for 24 hours and when I looked up I had Leland Palmer eyes.  Grover was the first thing I saw.

Grover Norquist is a very cuddly hot guy with facial hair. Facial hair that's about an `8' on the 1 to 10 gayness of facial hair scale. Somewhere between George Michael and Tom Selleck. He heads... I mean Grover heads,  actually, I have no fucken' idea what the word for what he heads is, but he heads something that made a whole heap of Republican people sign something that is unconstitutional, breaks their oath of office and is down right tacky. "Everyone knows that I'm a greedy, heartless, asshole so who the fuck cares if I put it in writing?"

The only TV I'm watching is `Star Wars, The Clone Wars' and `Wilfred'.  I tear myself away from Huff Post.  I also watch the `Six million dollar man' at 1.00 am.  So beautiful. Those legs!  What I don't understand about the Six million dollar man is they spent all that money and they couldn't get a shirt that fit!  The pants were sensational but the shirts were always 2 sizes too small.  I shouldn't complain.  You know he never ever really filled out.  Lee Majors pretty much remained a beanpole most of his career. Unlike Harrison Ford.

From `Star Wars' to the `Temple of Doom' what a wondrous thing to behold. What a piece of work. Which reminds me, `Clone Wars' yeah.  I don't know if you can understand this,   but for us Star Wars fans, there used to be this divine agony you'd experience between films. An expectation and hunger.  Dangerous hunger!  Hungry people do stupid things. The Star Wars Christmas Special for instance. Fucken' Ewok movies!  It would've been mind blowing as a child to know that when I was forty something, I would be able to get a daily hit.  A nice 25 minute hit every day.  Pure, uncut, no fucken' Ewoks.  I love the Clone Wars but there's something that's going on that my stomach has picked up.

People who don't suffer sensitive stomach issues are at a disadvantage to people who have sensitive tummies.  They only have their brains to rely on where as we have brains and stomachs.  Ever thought that some one was bullshitting you like a lawyer or a real estate agent?  Or you thought "this person is a con-artist."   Well if you are prepared to maintain, feed, and most importantly, listen to your ulcer, it can give you powers bordering on psychic abilities.  Abilities that go beyond the spotting con-artists and real estate agents at 50 metres.  So while I'm thoroughly enjoying Clone Wars my stomach is sending signals. Weird ones. It goes beyond the fact I know that all the characters are going to die horrible deaths.  The clones are very disturbing.

Anyway That's it for why I'm so cranky, part one.  I've had too much medicine and too much food. Come back tomorrow to see how Grover Norquist, Laos, and the Clone Wars are connected.